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8/1/2023

3 Tweets

0 Comments

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I remember being on Twitter and coming across a thread of tweets that literally made my heart race. I had never had someone read my mind before, and these three tweets affirmed, solidified, justified, and any other “FIEDs” you can think of! Oh yes, Ms. Ma’am...Keri Hilson came with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing BUT the truth! What were the tweets you ask… ok, hold on, let me set it up.

Can I get my single, black women in their mid-40s to come to the front, please? Yes, yes, because I know y’all will feel me if no one else does.

So this dating scene, though!?! Period. That’s it. That’s the setup. Because honestly, the girls that get it, get it, and my 40+ ladies definitely got it!
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Let me be for real…Ms. Keri Baby let off three tweets that really had me shook. I evaluate my life often. Different parts on different days, and I’d given the “Love Life” compartment a little look-see. You know, to see what needed to change, what I want or need now that may have been different six months ago. What I found was while I need to tweak some things here and there, I can honestly say it really SUCKS to be single right now. I mean, dating is really trash, and now that I’m older, I’m kinda like…Yeah, NAH!

And it’s not only because it’s pee in the pool but because I’m tired of being judged for protecting me. What I mean by that is, me intentionally putting up guards till you get tired of holding up that mask and I see the “REAL” you.

HERE ARE THE TWEETS:
  1. Even successful, strong women want to feel safe enough to be soft. That is our true nature.
  2. The man who makes me feel safe will have the world.
  3. Men who provide emotional security and display wise leadership will get the softest, most feminine, relaxed, trusting, “guard down,” submissive, nurturing version of their woman.

When I read those words, all I said was…This is it! Perfectly stated. So many times, I’ve tried to articulate this to men I’ve dealt with. You have to understand the amount of BS, time-wasting, relational abuse that women have dealt with to know why there are so many layers to us and why our guards are up.

No, I’m not saying it’s the man’s fault or that they should have to pay for another man’s mistake, not at all. But what I am saying is how many times has a woman loved your hurt away, loved you to where you were supposed to be, loved you until you loved yourself again? So many times, women have done this from the purest place, only to be broken in return. So many women (Me…I am women, lol) LONG to submit and be led by a man who exhibits strength and Godly wisdom.

​When I feel secure, I will give you the world. That doesn’t mean you have it all together...it means you are on a path; you have given your future, OUR future, forethought and are putting in the work to bring it to fulfillment.

Ok, ladies, so now that we’ve put that very important piece of information out for consumption by men, can we agree that we should TRY to at least let the drawbridge down? LOL, really, though… I’m not saying let them in the castle, but we gotta give a little to get a little, yes? Let me know. 

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    NishaSpeaks, COLUMNIST

    Tonisha, affectionately known as “NISHA” by family and friends, has always had a flair for words. ​So much so that she would later acquire the moniker "NishaSpeaks". Her talents have made room for her with several on-air radio broadcasts, including her podcast, The NishaSpeaks Podcast, JoyNet Radio, Hot 96.5 LR, and KWCP 98.9. She has also been featured in Curvy Connect Magazine. Her experiences have inspired her to become one of the Greats.

    NishaSpeaks is an advocate for plus-sized women, and an active model for the Kurvy Kuties Full Figure Modeling Group. Her playfulness and fierceness is effortless on the runway and it shines through her frames, her speech and  her strides. And when NishaSpeaks...You Listen!

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ur·bane \ər-ˈbān\: adj. notably polite or polished in manner
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  • HOME
  • CURRENT ISSUE
  • HIGHLIGHTS
    • 2023 Stronger Together
    • URBANE Stories
    • URBANE's Finest of 2023
    • Arkansas Black History
    • NishaSpeaks
    • Readers' Choice
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    • Business Spotlight
    • URBANE Eats
    • Black Arkansas Educators
    • Black Arkansas Graduates >
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    • Fathers' Day Tributes >
      • 2022 Fathers
      • 2021 Fathers
    • Mothers' Day Tributes >
      • 2022 Mothers
      • 2021 Mothers
  • GALLERY
    • 2023 >
      • SneakNik 2023
      • Sauced Bottomless Brunch
      • Issue 16 Release Party
      • Musicians Bible Study
      • WOW Open House 2023
      • Moses Moody's 2023 Community Weekend
      • The Ultimate Brunch & Day Party
      • 2023 Jubilee Film Festival Awards
      • Black In Business Networking
      • QLC 2023 Springfest
      • CBR'z Catering's Food Truck
      • Sisters in the Movement: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow
      • UAPB Black History Month Program 2023
      • 2023 UAMS Midsouth Black Expo
      • Realtist Choice Awards Gala
      • Alivia Beauty Co Grand Opening
      • 2nd Friday Art Night
      • 2nd Anniversary Mixer
      • 2023 MLK Recommitment Celebration
      • CAAC 2023 Founders Day
      • Honorable Swearing-In
    • 2022 >
      • 72nd Annual Debutante Ball
      • Kappa Christmas Ball
      • 2022 Wingtips Blazers & Stilettos
      • Truth Sauce Story Premier
      • 2022 Black Empowerment Awards
      • Frank Scott Watch Party
      • Chris Jones Watch Party
      • 2022 John H Johnson Day
      • 2022 LR Full Figure Fashion Show
      • Coach Davis Dedication
      • Flyght Black
      • Charley Palmer
      • Black Mayors Association 50th Anniversary
      • Tjuana Byrd Internship Program Closing Reception
      • Black Owned NWA Expo
      • 2022 UAMS Midsouth Black Expo
      • 2022 NBA Championship Trophy Tour
      • HMTC 50th Reunion
      • Scott Campaign Office Opening
      • Chief Keith
      • Sister Friends United 14
      • Camp Unidad
      • Delois J Braggs
      • The Black Derby Brunch
      • 1st Anniversary Mixer
      • Who Is Scipio Africanus Jones
      • Stephanie Hobbs
      • 2022 King Kennedy Awards
      • Emerging Arkansas Artists Showcase
      • Bank On America
    • 2021 >
      • MLK Christmas
      • Fredrick Love
      • Black Caucus
      • 2021 Wingtips Blazers & Stilettos
      • Arkansas RGB Music Showcase
      • Korto Momolo Fashion Show
      • Flyght Black Wine Tasting
      • New Black Panther Party
      • Speak Now
      • Same Different Amazing
      • Return of The Mac
      • Bobby Portis Foundation Back-2-School
      • Bobby Portis Foundation Gala
      • Worship Recharge Concert
      • Jones Bar-B-Q
      • Natalie James
      • Meet The Editor
      • We The People
      • Being Your Own Boss
      • BizAr Networking Mixer
      • The Honorable Choice
      • Creme de la Creme
      • Green Book Exhibit Opening Reception
      • Sister Friends United
      • Brae Leni & Friends
  • LOCAL GUIDES
    • Central
    • Northeast
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