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2/1/2022

Strength

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“You never really know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”
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No truer words have ever been spoken. But I believe we must be careful what we designate as “strength.”
​
Google defines strength as: “The quality or state of being physically strong. The capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.”
 
But wait…before I get too deep into this, let me just say…THE OPINIONS STATED IN THIS PIECE DO NOT REFLECT THE OPINIONS OF URBANE MAGAZINE. This is all NishaSpeaks! LOL Now that we’ve got that out of the way…
So, the ABC Network has released a six-episode series called “Women of the Movement” that premiered on January 6, 2022. The series centers on Mamie Till-Mobley, a mother who devoted her life to seeking justice for her murdered son, Emmett Till. When I saw the preview trailer on Facebook, I was immediately triggered. “Here we go again,” was my thought, “profit off the trauma of Black folks.” I was honestly in awe of the gall of the network. So, I did my research and saw that quite a few big-name Black entertainers and executives were backing this project. Also, the directors touted this series as an example of the amazing strength of Black women in the face of tragedy, highlighting the critical role Black women played in the African American struggle for civil rights. That got me thinking…IS there another option for Black women when being strong is all you’re allowed or expected to be?
 
Black women have endured hundreds of years of disrespect and violence. I’m talking, some of the most horrific acts that a person can witness and experience, and generally speaking, we still find the strength to move forward. But this article isn’t about that part of a Black woman’s strength, but rather the effects of that strength on a Black woman.
 
Black women’s “strength” often doesn’t come from the healthiest of places, doesn’t serve the most conducive purposes, and most times is attached to unresolved pains. Unfortunately, it has been passed down to generations of Black women. It paralyzes us and bogs us down. It steals from us and takes away the ability to allow…to let go in so many areas of our lives. It is so deeply ingrained in our being that sometimes we don’t even recognize when there IS another choice on the table. And that is the most devastating part of this; I dare call it a phenomenon, the “strength” of a Black woman.
 
I guess the “Women of the Movement” series triggered me because it seems the attribute of “strength” is always the only option, in some cases, for Black women. In my opinion, it further encourages the idea that all Black women are naturally and automatically strong when in truth, we sometimes just don’t have a choice. We do possess the attribute of strength, as do all humans, but not always because we want to.
 
In doing a bit a self-reflecting, I’ve found it difficult to just BE. To be soft…vulnerable…feminine…a woman because all I know is being strong. I have not been afforded the opportunity of just being. So many women agree with this sentiment and sadly have said they don’t know how to just BE.
 
So, if the series’ directors are calling “strength,” standing still, fighting the body’s innate urge to move – to not even blink – as to not draw attention to yourself while your husband…the father of your children…your child…are hanging on the limb of a tree by their necks…then have to proceed with life as though nothing happened…yeah, Nah.
 
To me…that is not strength. That is a space someone is forced to occupy. Now, a Black woman’s ability to make it look easy? Yeah, that’s a-whole-nother conversation!

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    NishaSpeaks, COLUMNIST

    Tonisha, affectionately known as “NISHA” by family and friends, has always had a flair for words. ​So much so that she would later acquire the moniker "NishaSpeaks". Her talents have made room for her with several on-air radio broadcasts, including her podcast, The NishaSpeaks Podcast, JoyNet Radio, Hot 96.5 LR, and KWCP 98.9. She has also been featured in Curvy Connect Magazine. Her experiences have inspired her to become one of the Greats.

    NishaSpeaks is an advocate for plus-sized women, and an active model for the Kurvy Kuties Full Figure Modeling Group. Her playfulness and fierceness is effortless on the runway and it shines through her frames, her speech and  her strides. And when NishaSpeaks...You Listen!

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ur·bane \ər-ˈbān\: adj. notably polite or polished in manner
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  • HOME
  • CURRENT ISSUE
  • URBANE's Finest of 2023
  • Anniversary Event
    • COVID-19 Disclaimer
  • HIGHLIGHTS
    • URBANE Stories
    • Arkansas Black History
    • NishaSpeaks
    • Readers' Choice
    • Listen First
    • Business Spotlight
    • URBANE Eats
    • Arkansas Black Graduates >
      • 2022 Graduates
      • 2021 Graduates
    • Mothers' Day Tributes >
      • 2022 Mothers
      • 2021 Mothers
    • Fathers' Day Tributes >
      • 2022 Fathers
      • 2021 Fathers
  • GALLERY
    • 2023 >
      • 2023 MLK Recommitment Celebration
      • CAAC 2023 Founders Day
      • Honorable Swearing-In
    • 2022 >
      • 72nd Annual Debutante Ball
      • Kappa Christmas Ball
      • Realtist Choice Awards Gala
      • 2022 Wingtips Blazers & Stilettos
      • Truth Sauce Story Premier
      • 2022 Black Empowerment Awards
      • Frank Scott Watch Party
      • Chris Jones Watch Party
      • 2022 John H Johnson Day
      • 2022 LR Full Figure Fashion Show
      • Flyght Black
      • Charley Palmer
      • Black Mayors Association 50th Anniversary
      • Black Owned NWA Expo
      • Tjuana Byrd Internship Program Closing Reception
      • 2022 UAMS Midsouth Black Expo
      • 2022 NBA Championship Trophy Tour
      • HMTC 50th Reunion
      • Scott Campaign Office Opening
      • Chief Keith
      • Sister Friends United 14
      • Camp Unidad
      • The Black Derby Brunch
      • Delois J Braggs
      • Coach Davis Dedication
      • 1st Anniversary Mixer
      • Who Is Scipio Africanus Jones
      • Stephanie Hobbs
      • 2022 King Kennedy Awards
      • Emerging Arkansas Artists Showcase
      • Bank On America
    • 2021 >
      • MLK Christmas
      • Fredrick Love
      • Black Caucus
      • 2021 Wingtips Blazers & Stilettos
      • Arkansas RGB Music Showcase
      • Korto Momolo Fashion Show
      • Flyght Black Wine Tasting
      • New Black Panther Party
      • Speak Now
      • Same Different Amazing
      • Return of The Mac
      • Bobby Portis Foundation Back-2-School
      • Bobby Portis Foundation Gala
      • Worship Recharge Concert
      • Jones Bar-B-Q
      • Natalie James
      • We The People
      • Being Your Own Boss
      • Meet The Editor
      • BizAr Networking Mixer
      • The Honorable Choice
      • Creme de la Creme
      • Green Book Exhibit Opening Reception
      • Sister Friends United
      • Brae Leni & Friends
  • LOCAL GUIDES
    • Central
    • Northeast
    • Northwest
    • Southeast
    • Southwest
  • CALENDAR
  • STORE
    • Giveaways
    • Donate
    • Sponsorships
    • Individual Issue
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  • Advertise with Us
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  • CONTACT URBANE
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